Who is this woman

When she was maybe 16 or 17, she decided to stay in a dorm; she wanted to stay out of their house as much as possible ergo all the piano lessons, tennis lessons, etc. (Wild, much?) But I got myself busy for a pageant when I was 16, I liked performing on-stage with singing and dancing. 

But this woman, she has lots of photos from when she was 17 onwards either posing in her swimsuit on every provincial beach or hanging out with boys her age with a bottle of beer in one hand and a lit cigarette on the other. And me? I flew to Singapore at 17 for a huge tennis tournament and it was my first international flight - with no parents - and my mother didn't think twice of letting me. She has her own entire definition of "independence". 

After 8 long days she picks me up in the airport and I show her my notebook of expenditures with my explanation of why I bought this often, how cheap the bus fare was, why I kept buying the canned iced tea from the vending machine - and I see her eyes already teary from hearing how much I enjoyed the trip and learned to budget my money. We reach home. Everybody checks my maletas with their eyes wide open waiting for their pasalubong while my mother blurts out, "Hayyy, honey, naka-ayos...flat na flat lahat ng damit...*turns to yaya*... Ya! Tignan mo... maayos ang pagkaka-empake lahat ng gamit!". Yaya retrieves my dirty laundry, papa finds his golf gloves that I had especially bought for him and busily tries it on, Busa won't stop sniffing my legs and my things - but this woman... she is still amazed at how my things were neatly packed and recalls that that is how she would pack all our things during our trips. 

In the car, I check my face in the mirror. She reaches for her bag. She flips her mirror and carefully puts on her lipstick while I envy how the shade of her lipstick looks so pretty and elegant. She puts it back into her bag. And 5 seconds later, I get the lipstick from her bag (no permission whatsoever) and put it on myself. She just stares... knowing her lipstick or her lipgloss can be gone in no time after I have tried it.

She takes me to S&R for grocery (only because I ask her to do so because I know she feels like it too) and she goes through every aisle as if she still needs office supplies (like, hello? we don't have an office). But when we reach my most favorite part of S&R, I get all the lemon iced tea I want and litres of Minute Maid that I can finish in less than a week (all by myself). I think we have the same level of intensity of love for the grocery, don't you think so, too?

On some days I tell my parents how one day I'm going to be rich. So rich that I'm going to buy a great house for me someday. And then she asks if I'm going to let her travel the rest of the world (to the places she has never been to). This woman likes exposing herself to lots of different cultures and she talks about how I will be able to survive in any country most often. She abhors that I buy too many clothes. She thinks I buy too much unnecessary material garments in TOPSHOP or Zara; perhaps, she doesn't want me to grow up being a material girl? But this woman, she buys too many expensive designer bags. In fact, she owns a couple of (brands I cannot mention) bags and purses that cost like cars - and you tell me that's necessary? The argument ends here.

Some 4 months ago, (this is a revelation OK) I was crying in the car on our way home with my mom driving. I cried for not being able to win the 2 million pesos I have been fantasizing about. I almost dreaded joining The Singing Bee. My mother did not stop telling me how I should be thankful for the huge consolation God bestowed upon me already, hindi ka naman artista ah - sinwerte ka lang na kinailangan ng Sotto, Mara andaming nagkakandarapa gawin yung nagawa mo(She said I'm not a showbiz personality, it just so happened they needed a Sotto to fill in and I'm lucky to have actually won because many people would die for that kind of thing). She kept explaining that I shouldn't be greedy and to value what I already have... In my mind, Why is this woman screaming at my ear. ugh. Today, I have done some re-thinking, and true enough - I should work hard for my money -  for it doesn't come easily. Some days, we can get a little lucky.

I am 18 today. I am not fond of game-playing. I don't like computer games. I seldom use my PSP. This woman, she borrows this gameboy with Dr. Mario from our yaya and stays up late because she cannot sleep unless she finishes the game winning. In Hong Kong, we are in Ocean Terminal, we walk so far until we reach Toys 'R Us to look for -  wait for it -  Dr. Mario. So she can finally stop borrowing someone else's gameboy. And then I ask my papa, "Was she deprived of her childhood?".

This woman is in her late forties, struggling to meet Rafael Nadal. She traveled all the way to China only to find out he wasn't going to play along with my ex-boyfie Nole and secret admirer Roger. (I know, right?). I will never have the same level of obsession that she has for that man, this I can tell you.

On a random thought, she mentions May, and knows that in just a few months it will be her daughter's birthday again. She says I'm turning 20 and I say "hell to the No!" (I'm only turning 19). I mean, who does that, right? The only woman I know who forwards the age of her daughter. On second thought, I know where this is coming from. When she was about my age, she couldn't wait to work already. She was itching to earn money so soon that she was willing to leave everything behind. And in the back of my 18-year-old mind, I realize that I need to be ready to leave everything I know behind to be able to figure out what it is that will truly define me. This is most probably why I really want to study abroad and I don't mind leaving Manila. (oh Lord... the influence of this woman...)

This woman is my mother. Just in case you were wondering.

And today, on Mother's Day... I am extending my greeting to all the Moms of the world!

Kuya Miko, happy birthday, I love you even until life after death =) I miss you so much.